It Was Always You
by AmbivalentOxymoron
Summary: Multichapter set after the finale. Probably AU. Skye and FitzSimmons friendship, Fitz/Simmons romance. My first fic so feedback appreciated!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One.

Fitz looked across at his friend. Simmons was curled in a ball in the hospital chair, a blanket wrapped around her knees. She had fallen asleep with her head resting on her closed fist; a position which Fitz thought looked decidedly uncomfortable. He crinkled his forehead into a frown, unsure whether to let he sleep on or wake her and tell her to go to a proper bed. His decision was made for him when she groaned quietly and arched her back into a stretch.

"Oh, you're awake," Jemma smiled at him sleepily and stretched her arms above her head, fighting a yawn. "Sorry, I'd have tried to stay awake if I'd have known you were going to wake up."

"S'ok." Fitz knew she needed sleep. Jemma had been spending every evening by his bedside since he'd woken from the coma eight days ago, and he suspected she'd done the same before that too. She had been in the lab for most of the day today; a lab which he hadn't yet seen. He enjoyed her excited chatter about the progress she had been making on gathering the necessary equipment (evidently the laboratory had been poorly stocked), but at the same time he felt guilty for keeping her there with him. Although the rest of the team visited, it was always Jemma who arrived early in the morning before he woke, again for an hour at lunchtime, and then again in the evening, often staying until after he had fallen asleep. He sometimes wondered if she felt guilty for not being there when he had woken up the first time.

Fitz's memories of those early days were hazy; however he vividly remembered opening his eyes to the strange white room, with dry lips, a sore throat and a pounding headache. The lights had been too bright and the noises from the medical apparatus around him had been too loud. He had panicked, having no idea where he was or what was going on, and he didn't recognise any of the doctors who suddenly surrounded his bed. He'd tried to ask who they were but had been unable to form the words; his tongue felt too big in his mouth and he was only able to murmur incoherently. He'd tried to rip the IV from his arm, but was pinned down by a muscled male nurse. It was only when a blur of white lab coat, dishevelled brown hair and hazel eyes materialised next to him that he had become to calm down. _Jemma was here. That meant it was ok._

Fitz watched as Jemma rubbed her eyes and rearranged the blanket across her legs, her feet now resting on the edge of his bed. "You feel ok?" she asked.

"Mm hm," Fitz nodded. He paused, thinking about the words he wanted to say. "Did you... sleep w..." he frowned in frustration and looked at her apologetically.

"Yes thank you," Jemma smiled at him. "You know me, I can sleep anywhere. So can you for that matter; do you remember when we were at the Academy and we used to fall asleep in the lab? One time you spent half the night with your face in your toolbox! That can't have been comfortable!"

He smiled, nodding at the memory. She kept bringing up little stories like that from the past, and lit up every time he showed he remembered. She was beaming now, and her wide smile and warm eyes caused a peculiar butterfly sensation to rise in his chest.

Jemma paused, as though expecting him to say something. His speech was slow and effortful, and a few minutes conversation made him tired. He found the flight of Jemma's thoughts and ideas exhausting to keep up with, but at the same time her voice and presence was soothing. His favourite times were when Jemma spoke to someone else by his bed, like Skye or Tripp. Then he didn't need to focus on the words or follow the conversation, he could just listen to the musical lilt of her accent and watch her face between half closed eyes.

Jemma seemed to realise that he couldn't always follow her. He noticed that she would speak more slowly when she spoke to him, and she left long pauses. Although he was grateful, it frustrated him that she needed to make allowances like that- he hated that he couldn't keep up with her brilliant mind. It was only when she was excited that she would forget and start to ramble, only pausing when he failed to finish her sentences.

A knock at the door stole their attention, and Skye poke her head around. "Well, if it isn't FitzSimmons! Fancy seeing _you_ here." The last remark was directed towards Jemma, who rolled her eyes.

"Hello Skye," Fitz nodded a smile at their friend. Skye seemed to have made it her mission to keep an eye on Jemma, and Fitz was glad she had someone looking out for her.

"Did she fall asleep in here again?" The hacker looked from Fitz to the biochemist accusingly.

Fitz nodded as Jemma huffed. "Skye it was just a nap. I don't intend to stay here all night."

"Well you told me that yesterday but you were still down here at 2:30am."

Fitz shot a glance at Jemma and noticed the colour rise in her cheeks. She opened her mouth as if to protest but seemed to think better of it.

"How are you anyway?" Skye diverted her attention towards Fitz as she perched on the edge of his bed.

"Good. Not so... tired."

"Great," she leaned across and rubbed a hand on his good arm. "It will be nice to have you upstairs with us."

Fitz wondered what "upstairs" was like. Since arriving at the Playground he had seen the inside of exactly three rooms (this one, the bathroom and a room with an MRI scanner), and a long, brightly lit corridor. None of the rooms had any windows. He was still spending most of his time in bed, with short periods sat up in the chair Jemma currently occupied. Jemma had mentioned possibly going upstairs in the wheelchair tomorrow.

He felt his eyes droop and Jemma and Skye began talking excitedly about something he didn't understand. _Something about a black box? What was that? _He felt Jemma's hand rest lightly on his arm as he drifted off to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two.

"So he's doing better?" Skye whispered. She gazed at Fitz as he lay sleeping.

"Yes. He is awake for a bit longer each time now; it's still quite tiring for him though. I have to keep pinching myself that he's really here and... awake." Jemma smiled weakly.

"Does he remember anything? You know... about what happened?" It was a question Skye had put off asking until now. Fitz had barely been able to talk in those first few days and was only just beginning to be able to form short sentences. No one had wanted to push him into talking about what had happened, but Skye knew he had been assessed by the doctor today.

"His memories seem to stop a few hours before... well, _before_." Jemma still had difficulty putting what had happened to them into words. "He remembered being on the Bus with Ward and Garrett. He said the last thing he remembered was taking the EMP out of his pocket." The biochemist smiled apologetically when Skye flinched at the mention of Ward's name.

"So he doesn't remember the pod? Or how you got there?"

"No," Jemma shook her head. "We'll tell him when he's recovered some more."

The two young women sat in thoughtful silence. Skye noticed the way Jemma absently stroked invisible patterns onto Fitz's arm, delicately as though he was something precious. She sensed something had changed between the scientists but she supposed that was bound to happen when you had been through a near death experience together.

Jemma noticed Skye looking at her hand and quickly moved it away, her face colouring slightly. "Sorry. I just... I need to keep telling myself he's ok. He was asleep for such a long time..."

Fitz had been in a coma for three weeks. During that time Jemma had barely left his bedside, spending her nights in the chair or curled into his side on the bed. Skye had brought down a blanket and some pillows to make her more comfortable. She had tried to make Jemma go to her room to sleep, but realised there was no way she could persuade the biochemist to move. She realised that Fitz was more than Jemma's best friend, there was something unspoken, undefined about their relationship that meant he was... more. Jemma had seemed lost without him, as though she didn't know how to function alone. Skye didn't know what that felt like, she had never _seen_ another relationship like theirs let alone experienced one for herself, but she knew she didn't want to get in the way of it.

"Fitz is strong. Besides, he wouldn't want to leave you alone too long- think what you could bring into his '_pristine laboratory',_" Skye attempted a Scottish accent on the last words, rousing a giggle from her friend. Jemma brought a finger to her lips as she tried to stifle her laughter, and beckoned for Skye to follow her outside into the corridor.

"Don't let him hear you do that," she whispered in a playful warning. "He's very defensive of his mother tongue."

"I know. That's why he wouldn't let me butcher it on the train when we were looking for Quinn," Skye laughed at the memory, despite what had happened afterwards. "Did you know his American accent is amazing? I couldn't believe it!"

Jemma nodded. "He's always been good at accents. Except mine. Which is weird because he can actually do a good English accent when he tries, but his Simmons voice is all high pitched and Scottish."

"And whiney," Skye added as they continued to walk down the hall.

"Hey!" Jemma playfully punched Skye on the arm.

"I meant his impression, not you!"

Jemma raised her eyebrows and pushed open the door to their small kitchen. She busied herself finding some mugs and teabags, and filled a kettle. After a few quiet minutes Skye shifted behind her and cleared her throat.

"Jemma, what... what happened down there?"

"You know what happened," Jemma responded quickly, handing Skye her tea. "He saved my life."

"I know, but... you must have talked about it. He thought he was going to die."

Jemma didn't raise her eyes; she seemed to be contemplating what to say. Skye suddenly felt guilty for asking, she could sense her friend felt uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked..."

"No, it's ok. We did talk about it. For a while we thought there was no way out. We thought we would both die. He was so calm, it sounds weird but it was actually really lovely- we made peace with it really... Then we realised we could blow the window out, and he was recalibrating the oxygen cylinder...he, he didn't say anything even though he _knew_. It was only when we were ready, when we were about to blow out the window that he told me there was only enough for one breath... for one of us. He told me it was for me," Jemma had been speaking quickly and her eyes began to fill with tears. "He... he said he couldn't live if I didn't."

Skye nodded and moved to squeeze her friend's hand, feeling the sympathetic pricking of tears in her own eyes.

"I told him I wouldn't take it, that I couldn't live if he didn't because he's... he's my _best friend_. But he said... he said I was _more_ than that. But he hadn't been able to tell me. He told me and then he... _pushed the bloody button!_" Jemma broke down into a sob and Skye wrapped her arms around her in a tight embrace.

"Shh. Its ok, I'm sorry I asked. But he's ok now, he's here... you both are."

"But I didn't get to tell him..." Jemma sniffed and looked at Skye meaningfully. "And now he doesn't remember. _He doesn't know what happened in the pod."_


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

**Sorry this is very dialogue heavy.**

"God. Jemma," Skye breathed. "Do you... do you feel the same way?"

Jemma raised her hazel eyes to Skye's face, seeming to study her before responding. "I didn't know. But seeing him like that, and thinking he might never wake up..." she wrung her hands anxiously. "It brought back all these feelings I used to have when we were at the Academy, only... stronger. He's _always _been more than my best friend but there are protocols. It would have been messy if we were involved. We'd agreed..."

Skye's jaw dropped and she interrupted her friend's frantic speech. "Wait. You felt like this _before_? At the Academy?" Jemma nodded. "What did you agree?"

"To be friends. Just friends."

Skye's eyes considered Jemma's face carefully. She'd had no idea that FitzSimmons had ever consciously contemplated being more than friends, let alone that they'd actually discussed it. She wasn't sure how comfortable Jemma felt talking about this, but she had to ask.

"So... were you ever _more_?"

Simmons flushed and busied herself around the kitchen again, doing anything she could to avoid Skye's intense stare. "Kind of."

"_Kind of_? What does _that _mean?!"

Jemma sighed, resigning herself to the fact that she was going to talk about this, a subject she had tried to bury and forget. She had never told anyone; she and Fitz had never mentioned it again after their... _agreement_. It had been fine, they had carried on as friends and most of the time she didn't even think about what had nearly happened between them all those years ago. It was just sometimes, when he held her gaze just that little bit too long, or when she felt him breathe in the scent of her hair as he hugged her, she'd let herself believe maybe there could be more. She'd swallowed her feelings and smiled at him like always, like he was just her best friend. But then he'd said those beautiful things and pushed that _bloody button_, and her nicely downtrodden feelings had come rushing to the surface; a flood of emotions exploding through a dam.

"There was a small group of us that were friends at the Academy, we used to go around together and meet up at the Boiler Room. Of course, I spent most of my time with Fitz... at first we'd just been partnered on a project but then we kept working together because we got on so well." Jemma seated herself on a stool next to Skye, fiddling with the frayed sleeve of her jumper. "We started seeing each other outside class and... well, we never looked back really. People used to tease us about getting together but it was never anything more than that." Jemma cleared her throat. "Anyway, he used to just laugh it off, and I tried to ignore my... feelings."

Skye raised her eyebrows but didn't say anything; although Jemma seemed uncomfortable she could tell that once the biochemist has started she'd actually wanted to tell her. She didn't want to interrupt.

"It wasn't anything serious, just a crush. I mean, Fitz isn't exactly bad looking is he? When you spend enough time with someone you're bound to feel... _something_. But I didn't think he felt the same way so I kept quiet, I never said anything. Then, one day after our final exams we were all sitting in the pub talking about the end of term ball," Simmons bit her lip nervously. "We had always planned to go as a group. Then Fletch, he was one of Fitz's engineering friends, joked that we should go together as a couple. He said we'd regret it if we carried on ignoring our feelings because after the Academy we might never see each other again."

"I thought you and Fitz were at SciOps together after the Academy?" Skye munched a biscuit as she interrupted, her confusion evident.

"We did, but we hadn't heard back from our applications by then so there were no guarantees. I just remember the look on Fitz's face; I'd never seen him look like that. He got up and left really quickly without saying anything, so I followed him. When I caught up with him we didn't talk about it, we just headed back to his room. And then..."

Skye widened her eyes again, if it was even possible for them to grow any larger. When Jemma didn't speak immediately it was all the hacker could do not to shake her. "_And then?!"_

Jemma sighed. "He... he kept looking at me while we were watching the tele, so I turned to him to ask what was going on... and he kissed me."

"_He kissed you?!" _Skye gasped. She couldn't imagine Fitz working up the courage to make the first move on anyone, let alone on Jemma. "Did you kiss him back?"

Jemma nodded, her face was bright pink now and a smile tugged at her lips. "Skye, it was _amazing_."

"So what happened?" Skye was puzzled. If they had felt this way and admitted it back at the Academy why had they been dancing around each other like this on the Bus?

"For the next few days it was wonderful. We agreed we would go to the dance together like Fletch said, and that we'd tell everyone we were together while we were there. Leo said it would be the perfect end to the perfect year," Jemma smiled softly but then her face fell.

"The day before the dance we got our offers from SciOps. We were so happy we were going together. Then Fitz read the policies in the Welcome Pack- there was one against _'fraternisation,'_" Simmons snarled the word and made air quotes with her fingers. "There was no way we could _be _together and work together."

Skye's stomach dropped at the look of pain on her friend's face. She realised that the scientists had chosen friendship and a working relationship over the possibility of something romantic. They must have gone through months, if not years, of ignoring their feelings without breathing a word to anyone else.

"Couldn't you have kept it a secret?" she whispered, trying to disguise the pity in her voice. She knew the answer even as the words left her mouth.

Simmons cocked her head disbelievingly at the computer whiz. "Yes, because secret keeping is clearly my forte." Her sarcastic tone couldn't hide the sadness behind her voice.

"So you just stopped? Just like that?"

"We had to. We couldn't risk being separated. Even if we couldn't _be _together we still wanted to work together. He is the best partner I've ever had."

Skye shook her head, still not quite believing what she had heard. "So... what happens now? S.H.I.E.L.D. technically doesn't exist- there are no protocols anymore."

The biochemist shrugged her shoulders and looked wistfully down the corridor in the direction of her sleeping partner's room. "I have no idea."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four.

**More Fitz this chapter. Yay!**

A few weeks had passed. Fitz was having daily speech and physiotherapy and the improvement was startling. Jemma had researched strategies for rehabilitation after brain injury and knew that recovery was fastest in the early stages and was likely to plateau after a while, but even she couldn't believe the difference in Fitz in such a short time. She knew he would never regain his memories in the pod- a short period of retrograde amnesia is text book; they were lucky he had only lost a few hours. She couldn't imagine what it would have been like if she'd had to explain what had happened with Hydra. At least it had made some sense to Fitz when she'd told him it had been Ward who released the pod, he'd been upset of course but he'd remembered Ward was Hydra. He'd almost seemed sad for Ward, like he still believed he wasn't born evil, even after what she'd told him. Fitz's innate _goodness _warmed Jemma's heart. She couldn't think of anyone else who could go through what he had and still hold on to the potential for forgiveness. She herself wanted to lock Ward up and throw away the key. He was beyond redemption in her eyes.

Jemma pushed open the door to Fitz's makeshift hospital room, two mugs of tea in hand. He was sat up in bed flicking between the channels on the small television Tripp had installed for him. He turned it off as she entered and gave her a wide smile.

"Oh, you're a star! I'm parched."

"I thought you would be," she smiled back at him and carefully passed his tea to his good hand.

"Good day?"

"Well, it was eventful. I broke a beaker in the lab so I got to test the decontamination shower."

Fitz immediately looked worried. "Was that what the alarm was earlier? Are you ok?"

"I'm fine, it was just a precaution," she patted his shoulder reassuringly and he settled back, sipping his tea.

"I wouldn't mind a decontamination shower myself," Fitz laughed and wrinkled his nose, the playful expression causing tingles to rise up Simmons' spine.

"You want a shower? Haven't you had one?" she eyed the ensuite bathroom that adjoined Fitz's room.

"No," he shook his head. "The shower in there is too small to get a wheelchair in and I can't stand on my own for long enough yet. Besides, I can't do much with this," he raised his left arm, which was still in a sling.

Simmons frowned sympathetically. She knew Fitz had always been very particular about his personal hygiene and he would have hated the last few weeks of having nurses give him bed baths.

"It's really badly designed, this place," Fitz looked around the room. "No wonder they call it the Playground- someone was certainly playing a game when they drew up the plans."

Simmons snickered, "well I don't think this was actually designed as a medical wing. We've had to make do, what with S.H.I.E.L.D. being dismantled and all."

Fitz huffed and nodded. Suddenly Simmons brightened.

"There's a bath upstairs. I'm sure it would be fine for you to use it."

"What about this?" the engineer raised his arm again. "I could sit in the tub but that's about it to be honest."

"I could help you," Simmons spoke without thinking. She noticed his startled expression and the flush in his cheeks before feeling the heat rise up her own neck. "You'd keep your boxers on, I wouldn't see anything."

"Oh. Maybe," He smiled at her appreciatively. "I don't want it to be... awkward though."

"It won't be," Jemma wasn't sure if the firmness in her tone was for his benefit or her own.

-:-

"Ready?" Jemma came into the room and averted her eyes as Fitz finished tying his dressing gown around his middle awkwardly with one hand. He moved slowly off the bed and into his wheelchair, allowing Simmons to take charge and wheel him down the corridor.

Along the way they passed Agent May, dressed head to toe in black as usual. She raised her eyebrows quizzically at the sight of Fitz in his dressing gown, but didn't say anything.

"I'm giving Fitz a bath..." Jemma stuttered quickly.

"Jemma's just giving me a hand... _helping_ me," Fitz corrected himself.

"Okay," May smiled knowingly at the pair and continued moving stealthily down the corridor.

Why did he feel so embarrassed? It wasn't as though they were up to anything. Fitz frowned inwardly at himself. It was just one friend helping another friend in his hour of need. There was nothing else to it. _Except that he was going to have to deal with being nearly naked in a room with Jemma. Jemma who he was completely in love with_. But... it was fine- he'd spent so long pretending, he could pretend some more. If he didn't give it away nothing would change.

Jemma tightened her grip on the handles of Fitz's wheelchair. Now she had told Skye about her feelings she was paranoid that everyone in the Playground knew. Why had she said anything? It was ridiculous- Fitz couldn't even remember anything he'd said to her in the pod so for him nothing had changed. _Except..._ He'd more or less told her he loved her. He may not know he had said anything, but that didn't mean he didn't feel the same way. Jemma felt her breathing quicken. She had two PhDs and a superior IQ, how had she not realised this? She had been so fixated on the fact that he'd _forgotten_ that she hadn't really acknowledged what he'd _said_. The boy who she'd always loved was in love with her too.

-:-

Jemma closed the bathroom door behind them and wheeled Fitz's chair next to the tub. Steam rose from the surface of the water and she was glad she could blame her flushed complexion on the humidity in the room.

Fitz struggled his shoulders free of his dressing gown and leaned forward, gripping one side of the bath with his good hand. The cast of his other arm had been wrapped in a plastic bag by Jemma so he didn't damage it in the water. Simmons came up behind him and placed a hand under his arm, causing him to jump at her touch.

"Sorry. Here, let me help you," She took some of his weight as he gingerly lifted his legs into the bath one at a time, and did not let go until he had settled himself into the water. She averted her gaze from his naked chest; _clearly she had not thought this through_. He was practically naked and she was going to help him bathe... that involved touching him. There was _no way_ she could do this without revealing how she felt.

Fitz was going through a similar inner turmoil. Just the thought of Simmons running her hands over him was making him dizzy... what on earth was he going to do when she actually _did_ it. He closed his eyes and sank back into the water, focussing instead on the warming sensation through his bones.

"Is the temperature ok?" Simmons used her best nurse voice as she dipped her hand into the water to check for herself.

"Mmm," Fitz nodded. The look of uncensored pleasure on his face caused Simmons to bit her bottom lip distractedly. _Thank goodness he had his eyes closed_.

She reached down into a box she had brought with her and pulled out two bottles. "Shall I wash your hair?"

Fitz opened his eyes and glanced up at her and then at the bottle she held. His hair really did need to be washed and he couldn't do it with only one good arm. It would be fine; it would be just like getting his hair washed at the hairdresser. _Except he wasn't completely in love with his hairdresser._

"Yes please," he nodded.

Simmons picked up the measuring jug she had brought with her and filled it with bath water. She tilted Fitz's head back gently and poured the warm water back over his head, using her other hand to shield his eyes. She then picked up the shampoo and squeezed a small amount into her palm.

Fitz closed his eyes as Simmons worked her hands into his curls, creating a soft lather. He recognised the smell of her black tea shampoo and breathed in slowly, letting the smell that was so _Simmons_ flood his senses. He could feel himself relaxing under her touch and struggled to maintain a semblance of control.

Suddenly a low, breathy groan escaped Fitz's throat. At first Jemma wasn't sure if she had really heard it, but his embarrassed reaction confirmed that the involuntary noise had come from him. Fitz's eyes snapped open and he sat forward, shaking his head quickly from side to side.

"S...sorry," he stuttered. "I uh... hurt my arm."

Jemma could tell he was lying but didn't say anything. She pushed him gently backwards again so she could wash the soap from his hair, but this time he kept his eyes open. He seemed to find the ceiling tiles fascinating.

Jemma tried to ignore the feelings that were coursing through her body and focus on the task at hand. She lathered his hair again and massaged her fingers gently against his scalp, creating small circles across his head. She half wished he would groan again, the almost animal noise coming unintentionally from Fitz's throat had sent warm tingles up her spine, but she felt guilty as she knew how uncomfortable it had made him feel. The guilt was soon outweighed by pleasure as she realised the effect that her actions were having on him. He looked extremely vulnerable, and she reflected on how much he must really trust her to have agreed to this.

"Better?" she asked as she rinsed the last of her shampoo from his head.

"Much." Fitz smiled gratefully at her. He lowered his eyes quickly, embarrassed again.

"Do you want some help with... the rest of you?" Jemma bit her lip nervously as she eyed his wet torso.

"I can probably do most of it," he answered quickly. "Just maybe my back?"

Fitz tensed as he felt Jemma's hands skim the skin at the back of his neck, and smooth down his back with the loofah. She rubbed in slow circles, soaping him down, and he could feel her breath on his neck as she leaned across his back. He wanted to turn and look at her but knew if he did it would be a bad idea. The feeling of water cascading over his shoulders once more awoke Fitz from his reverie and Jemma passed him the loofah.

"I'll leave you in peace for a bit. I won't go far so just call when you're done." With that the biochemist smiled, got up quietly and left. As she closed the door behind her Fitz sank slowly back into the tub, exhaling a breath he felt like he'd been holding forever.

Outside the door, Jemma leaned her head back against the cool wood and sighed. That hadn't felt like one friend doing another friend a favour. That had felt... _more_.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five.

"You gave Fitz a bath?!" Skye laughed as Jemma attempted to matter-of-factly tell her where she had been for the last forty-five minutes, completely failing to do so without blushing. They were in Jemma's bunk sat amicably facing each other, cross-legged at opposite ends of the bed.

"He needed one. The poor thing hadn't had a proper wash in weeks. _Stop it _Skye it wasn't like that."

"Mmm," Skye raised her eyebrows disbelievingly.

"Well... it didn't start like that anyway," Jemma flushed again.

"Ooo you naughty girl- you _totally _took advantage of him!" Skye gaped in pretend shock.

Jemma opened her mouth to protest, then realised the hacker was teasing her. She threw a cushion across the bed and it narrowly avoided Skye's face. "Hey! It's not my fault you can't keep your hands off him! Is it the vulnerability thing? Does it turn you on?"

Without any more ammunition Jemma resorted to leaning across and punching Skye in the leg. "Skye! I'm serious, this is actually a problem. I don't know what to do." Despite how hopeless she felt Jemma couldn't help but laugh at her friend's attempt to goad her.

They sat in companionable silence for a few minutes, Skye contemplating Jemma's predicament. "Does it have to be a problem?"

"What do you mean?" The biochemist screwed her face in confusion.

"Well... you like him and we know he likes you too. Usually people see that as a good thing."

Jemma tilted her head, "it is a good thing. I think. It's just... complicated. We've gone so long ignoring how we felt- I don't even know how long he's actually felt that way about me. And he doesn't know I know," she flopped back into her pillows and sighed. "This is ridiculous. I am a _ridiculous _human being."

Skye laughed again at her friend's dramatics. "You _are_ a ridiculous human being. But so is he. You're a perfect match; you can be ridiculous together..." Skye leapt up from the bed as Jemma tried to punch her again and flew to the door.

"Anyway... I said I'd go and visit _lover boy _this evening. Maybe I can get some gossip from him." She wiggled her eyebrows mischievously, Jemma's protests ringing in her ears as she left the room.

-:-

"Dr Fitz," Skye saluted playfully as she entered his room. Fitz was sat in the chair next to his bed, reading, his hair still damp. He looked up and smiled as she entered.

"_Agent_ Skye... of the Organisation-Formally-Known-As-S.H.I.E.L.D." he quipped, closing his book and putting it to one side.

Skye sat across from him, perched on the edge of his bed. "Agent Skye... I still can't get used to that! Anyway, Simmons said you won't be down here too much longer, you must be pleased."

"Yep," he nodded. "It's just Koenig being a jobsworth really, wanting to jump through all the hoops and tick all the boxes before I move. Evidently there has to be some kind of risk assessment but Jem doesn't think it will be a problem."

"Cool." Skye's eyes roamed around the little room. There were no windows and the fluorescent tube lights gave everything a faintly yellow glow. She could understand why he wanted to move, remembering back to her days imprisoned in the med-pod on the Bus. "So... been up to much?"

Fitz set his mouth in a sarcastic smile at her question and began to count off on his fingers, "Let's see... breakfast, physiotherapy, nap, lunch, speech therapy, nap. Same as every day. Oh, but Simmons helped me have a bath- I cannot tell you how good that was." Skye nodded and laughed as he flushed. "I don't mean... I mean it's just I hadn't been able to have one and Simmons offered so... I just wanted to be _clean_," he drew out the last word for emphasis.

"Oh I bet you did," Skye smirked as she watched him squirm. Suddenly Fitz looked up and narrowed his eyes at her.

"What do you mean?"

"Erm..." it was Skye's turn to feel uncomfortable. She had momentarily forgotten that as far as Fitz was aware nobody knew about his feelings for his lab partner. "You know... Simmons is hot. Don't pretend you haven't noticed, you can wave your hands in the air as much as you want but you have _eyes_ Fitz." Skye smiled inwardly at her speedy recovery as Fitz lowered his hand, the protest dying on his lips. He looked at her quizzically but didn't say anything.

Skye racked her brains for a way to get him to talk, to confess. She looked up when he cleared his throat.

"Simmons is hot?"

"Don't you think so?"

"Well... I...I suppose," Fitz's face darkened to a deep red. His good hand picked at the plaster cast on his other arm, he was clearly flustered now. "I try not to think of her like that," he added quietly.

"You _try _not to?" Skye couldn't believe he was opening up about this without her really needing to pry.

Fitz coughed again, a pained expression on his face. "Well, erm... we're friends, you know? I can't work with her and think... _that_."

"But you do." It wasn't a question.

Fitz looked straight into her eyes and moved his head minutely up and down. To anyone else the movement may have passed unnoticed, but Skye was looking for it and her heart leapt at his reluctant nod. She tried to keep a straight face; she didn't want to put him off opening up by getting over excited.

"How long have you felt like this Fitz?" Skye felt a little guilty knowing that she knew more about Fitz's feelings than he could guess. She told herself it was for his own good; if he couldn't tell her then he wouldn't be able to tell Simmons, and that was the point of all of this.

"Just recently..._ish_," Fitz suddenly appeared to find his trainers fascinating.

"Ish?"

The engineer bit his bottom lip, appearing to decide how much he should tell her. "I started to feel... different when she jumped out of the plane. She could have died and... I don't know what I'd have done. Then with all the Hydra crap I started to... think about it a bit more," he let out a long breath. "I realised she's not _just _my lab partner."

"People don't _usually_ try to sacrifice themselves for someone who's just their lab partner," Skye spoke before thinking. "But... she's your best friend too."

"Yes," Fitz nodded vigorously. "But I don't think that's it." Skye waited for Fitz to continue talking. He started staring at his shoes again in an effort to avoid her gaze. "Skye, I've never told anyone this, but I've kind of had feelings for Simmons before."

"Before?"

"At the Academy, when we first met. I thought she was amazing; so talented and beautiful. But I knew she'd never be interested in me, not like that. We worked together and we were friends."

Skye waited for the 'but' she knew was coming.

"But then after our finals things changed. People said that she _liked _me, more than just a friend... and then I noticed it too. I'd never realised, I wasted so much time. We actually started seeing each other for a little while," he paused to study Skye's face. "But when we realised we would be working together at SciOps we knew we couldn't carry on. If we really crossed that line there was no going back," he looked sad and Skye mirrored his expression. "I don't think I ever really stopped loving her, not really," he murmured quietly.

"Do you love her now?" Skye asked the question despite knowing the answer.

"Yes," he sighed. He closed his eyes looking completely dejected. He had absolutely no idea his feelings were reciprocated.

"How does Simmons feel?" Skye floated the question, unsure what he would say.

"Simmons? Well... we're friends."

"Yes, but how does she _feel_?"

"I...I don't know."

"Don't you think you should find out?"

Fitz rubbed at his eyes with his hand, clearly tired and confused. He made a low growling noise in the back of his throat, his frustration evident. "How can I find out? I can't exactly just ask her... Skye? Do you know something?" His head snapped up to look at her as it dawned on him that her reaction to his confession had been incredibly calm and _un-Skye_. He had expected squealing or hugging or some other wildly over the top reaction, not quiet acceptance.

"What? No!"

"Skye. Has Jemma said something to you?"

"What? She... just talk to Simmons."

"What did she say?"

"Fitz," Skye fixed him with a level, unblinking stare. "Talk. To. Simmons. I'm going to bed." Skye left the bewildered scot behind her, unsure whether she had made things better or worse.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six.

A few weeks later Fitz was in the kitchen making tea. He had had his plaster cast removed and was volunteering to do anything that required two hands. He heard a noise behind him and spoke before he could see who had entered the room. "Tea?"

"Ooo yes please, that would be lovely," the warm, English tones of his best friend met his ears. He turned to smile at her but could already feel the heat creeping up his neck. Every time they were close now his thoughts drifted back to the conversation he'd had with Skye. He'd noticed things too... like the way Jemma's arms stayed around him a few seconds too long when they hugged, or the way he caught her staring when she thought he wasn't looking. He barely dared hope that she could really return his feelings.

"Good day?" he asked politely, setting a plate of biscuits in front of her. She grinned at him and took one.

"Mmm," she nodded. "I've been looking at the version of the Night Night gun Centipede built. The toxin they used works differently to the one we developed..."

"_You _developed."

"Okay, _I _developed," she grinned. "It's different to the stuff they used in their grenades too." She munched on her biscuit. "We've got one of the guns so you could have a look at it when you're up to it."

He nodded happily at the thought of going back to work with her. Things were slowly returning to some semblance of normality; he'd stopped needing to go to speech therapy and was still making progress in physio. He used a crutch to walk but generally only used the wheelchair when he was tired. That was still frustrating; he couldn't get used to how completely wiped out even seemingly simple tasks left him feeling. Simmons had devised a planner to make sure he had regular breaks which seemed to be helping, but he had to keep reminding himself that his brain needed to rest, to recharge. Simmons called it 'charging his batteries', which felt better than just saying he needed a nap.

"I've been meaning to talk to you about something. I er... I spoke to Skye." Fitz was almost as surprised as Simmons was at the words that left his mouth.

Simmons looked at him expectantly, trying to stop herself hoping too much where this could be going. "Oh?"

"She said I needed to talk to you. Do you know anything about that?"

Simmons shook her head slowly, but something in her eyes told him that she did. He sat on a stool opposite her, balancing his crutch against the table top.

"Why do you think she would have said that?" Simmons voice was high pitched and shaky.

"I told her something," Fitz spoke slowly, quietly. He was sure nobody would hear them; they were all off busy with other things but he wanted to be certain. "Something about when we were at the Academy, about before we got offers for SciOps."

Jemma swallowed audibly. It was happening; they were actually going to have this conversation. "Oh?"

"She didn't seem very surprised," Fitz raised his eyebrows at her, a smile tugging at his lips.

Simmons picked up a chocolate biscuit, "these are nice. We should really get some more..."

"Jem," he placed his hand on hers, quieting her.

"I might have told her," she smiled apologetically before taking a breath and stammering, "B...but it was just because of what you said in the pod. I was confused and..."

"What I said in the pod?"

"Yes." She knew he didn't know what she was talking about, that he would never know unless she told him.

"What did I say?" He studied her face intently. Even though he didn't remember what had happened he had an idea where this was going. He knew he'd given her the oxygen tank, they'd told him. He knew he loved her. And he knew somehow he had managed to convince her to take the only breath in the cylinder.

Fitz's hand still covered Jemma's on the table between them and she took comfort from its warmth. She had been longing to tell him this, and yet dreading it at the same time. What if it hadn't been real? What if he'd only said those things because that's what you _say _when you're about to die? One look in his eyes told her otherwise.

"You know you rigged the oxygen cylinder, and that there was only enough for one of us?" He nodded and she continued, "Obviously I wasn't going to just take it. I realised what it meant and tried to make you think of another plan but there was no time. I couldn't understand why you would make me take it; we're best friends, but..."

"...You're more than that."

She blinked at him. It wasn't possible that he actually remembered what he had said to her in the pod; it was literally seconds before he lost consciousness and he had _amnesia_. He just knew.

"You're more than that too you know," she smiled weakly, her eyes filled with tears as he squeezed her hand. He slowly pushed himself up from his seat and moved to stand next to her, pulling her into a tight embrace. She stood too and he slowly kissed her forehead, her temples, her cheeks, before finally setting a soft, chaste kiss to her lips.

Jemma lifted her hand to cup his cheek and softly stroked his jawline with her thumb. She gently pulled his face towards her once more and gave him a long, lingering kiss.

As they broke for air Fitz breathed, "I'm sorry Jemma, I've been so stupid. I should have told you..."

"Shh. You haven't been stupid. Things got in the way... but they aren't there anymore. It's just us now Leo, you and me."

"It's always been you and me." He smiled before kissing her again.

_fin_

**A/N: Thank you for reading, I hope you liked it!**


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